Stephen R. Covey begins Habit 3 with two powerful questions:
- What is one thing you are not doing right now, but if you did it consistently, it would bring major positive results in your personal life?
- What is one thing in your work or professional life that, if done consistently, would bring major positive results?
When I asked myself these questions, my answers were clear:
- In my personal life: maintaining a good relationship with my wife, especially during the ups and downs of parenting and her hormonal balance. Listening more, showing affection, offering support.
- In my professional life: improving my computer skills, since most of my work (and even blogging) depends on using tools effectively.
And then it hit me—this is exactly what Covey means by putting first things first.
The Time Management Matrix – Four Quadrants
Covey explains this habit using his famous Time Management Matrix, which categorizes activities by urgency and importance:
- Quadrant I: Urgent and Important (crises, deadlines, pressing problems)
- Quadrant II: Not Urgent but Important (prevention, relationship building, planning, personal growth, health)
- Quadrant III: Urgent but Not Important (interruptions, unnecessary meetings, excessive emails and calls)
- Quadrant IV: Not Urgent and Not Important (trivial tasks, time-wasters, shallow entertainment)
Looking at my own life, I realized I was living in Quadrant I and IV. I’d spend my day firefighting urgent problems, then escape into mindless relaxation—fried chicken snacks and strong drinks in hand—feeling like I had “earned it.”
But that’s the trap. Living reactively means never investing in the things that truly build a meaningful life.
The Power of Quadrant II
The real magic lies in Quadrant II: Important but Not Urgent.
That’s where the answers to Covey’s opening questions live: building relationships, improving skills, taking care of your health, preparing for the future.
Proactive people deliberately spend more time here, gradually shrinking the crises of Quadrant I and avoiding the time-wasters of Quadrant III and IV.
Beyond To-Do Lists – The Evolution of Time Management
Covey also describes the four “generations” of time management:
- First Generation: Simple to-do lists
- Second Generation: Calendars and schedules
- Third Generation: Prioritization and efficiency tools
- Fourth Generation: Planning based on values, principles, and mission
Habit 3 isn’t about cramming more into your schedule. It’s about aligning your weekly and daily activities with your deepest values and mission. Efficiency matters, but meaning matters more.
Delegation – Trust That Empowers
Another lesson from this chapter that struck me is delegation.
I often micromanage—giving step-by-step instructions that leave no room for initiative. No wonder my colleagues don’t look inspired.
Covey tells the story of asking his son to maintain the lawn. Instead of detailed orders, he gave his son ownership of the task, along with trust. The result? Responsibility, growth, and motivation.
That’s real delegation: not just handing off tasks, but empowering people. And when done right, it creates more results in less time, while building trust on both sides.
The Core Message of Habit 3
In the end, Habit 3 isn’t about techniques, tools, or reacting to outside pressures.
It’s about internal discipline: choosing to live through the lens of importance, not urgency.
For me, that means investing in my wife and child, strengthening my skills, and avoiding the empty rush of “busyness.”
With Habits 1 through 3, the foundation of “Private Victory” is set.
Next comes “Public Victory”—interdependence and synergy with others.
So, what’s your Quadrant II activity—the important but not urgent thing you’ve been putting off?
That’s where your future is waiting.
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